1. Conversation at work:
J (while talking to someone else): "I need to hand out strips."
Me (doing a drive-by listen): "You're stripping?"
J: *rolls eyes in drama-queen fashion* "I'm too busy for that."
R (who has a knack for setting himself up): "I'm caught up. I have some time!"
Me: "You also have back hair."

( 2. Why hooked on phonics doesn't work in the south. )